These Four Words - I Don't Love you
by heroherondaletotheresuce
Summary: Nathan Ivashkov paid Sydney Sage an unexpected visit one day in Palm Springs. He was outraged when Adrian refused to accept his offer to move back home to court, especially when finding out the reason for him staying behind was due to his feelings for the little alchemist. What does he make Sydney do to send Adrian back, and will he succeed? R&R - Disclaimer inside.


One Shot – Adrian/Sydney – SYDRIAN

I really enjoyed writing this, i hope it's a good ending, it was really hard on how to figure that ending out.

Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns all her characters, i only own plot.

P.s. this is the first sydrian shot i've ever written, so go easy on me. ;)

PLOT - Nathan Ivashkov paid Sydney Sage an unexpected visit one day in Palm Springs. He was outraged when Adrian refused to accept his offer to move back home to court, especially when finding out the reason for him staying behind was due to his feelings for the little alchemist. What does he make Sydney do to send Adrian back, and will he succeed?

"I won't do it. I can't do that to him, you have to understand Mr Ivashkov that I am his friend, and I will not betray him." Sydney said, confidently not caring about his opinion of her and praying that he would just leave his poor soon alone for once.

"Ms Sage, you do fail to realise that you have no power here. You will do what I say, you have no choice in the matter. The only reason I am here is to simply inform you of your duties." Nathan Ivashkov said cockily before taking another sip of the white wine in front of him.

Sydney clenched her jaw, she knew that she couldn't out right be uncivilised with the man no matter how much she loathed him, after all this was meant to be seen as alchemist business with a moroi. If she disrespected him in any way and he reported her, she would be sure to get in trouble, no matter how much the alchemists despised the vampire population of the world; they did have an mutual agreement with the Moroi to treat each other with respect. Presenting a now calm exterior, she crossed her arms, staring him straight in the eye.

"I am sorry, but I must decline." She finalised, standing up and slipping on her winter coat, and ready to walk out the door of the quiet restaurant. She wouldn't do it, what he was suggesting was cruel and horrible and if anything of her confused feelings she loved Adrian not the opposite. Nathan stood up swiftly grabbing Sydney's wrist and rather rightly as well.

"You misunderstand Ms Sage; you will do what I asked of you. If you do not I will be sure to inform the alchemists of your… illegally close relationship with the moroi in this town." She glared at him this time, her anger not subtly hidden anymore.

"They won't believe the word of a moroi over one of their own." She said, trying to keep her emotions composed, she was bluffing and she was pretty sure he even saw that.

"After an anonymous tip with evidence of these escapades, I'm sure your superiors won't have a problem with throwing you into re-education." Nathan threatened, his steel eyes intimidating her more so than his words. Being a royal even Nathan knew of the harsh treatment that he could use against her. But again she kept her resolve.

"I don't care. I'll sacrifice myself for Adrian." She confessed, ripping her hand out of his iron grip.

"If you don't do this I will make him suffer to, I will hurt him. He will be a laughing stock at court, even more of an outcast than he already is. A royal, falling in love with a pathetic human like you. No, he will be shunned, and I will force him to stay there and suffer with it every single day." He said sharply, before getting a card out of his pocket, waiting for her response.

"If I do this, if he comes back to court. Will you promise to take care of him, to love him, to give him what he needs? Will you promise to accept him." She asked, a neutral expression on her face, but her words giving her true feelings away.

"I'll do what's best for my son if he comes back. Think about it Ms Sage, and reply within the next 24 hours, I expect you'll do the right thing and choose wisely, for the future of Adrian and yourself." He handed over his business card, leaving the restaurant with the final word.

Sydney stalked out of the restaurant, frustrated at the situation she had just been put in. She jumped in Latte and drove around aimlessly for at least a good two hours thinking about all of the different options laid out on the table. Eventually she ended up on Adrian's doorstep. She parked her car down below the apartment block, and just sat in the car for a few minutes, trying to collect her thoughts. The one continuous point that had been running through her head was that she should do it, to protect him. Threaten her job, her life she didn't care. She would go to re-education for him, no matter how scared she would be. But threaten him and it was all hopeless. If she did this, no matter how much it emotionally hurt her, and even him, he would finally get his father's approval. He would be welcomed at the royal court, for him and not for his drunken reputation and he would be happy, at least she hoped. The other option was not doing what Nathan said and having the risk of 1. Being sent to re-education and 2. Being selfish and making Adrian's live basically a living hell… and by further she also realised that being sent to re-education would only make her parents send in Zoe to replace her, and she didn't want her sister to have this life, being bound to the alchemists' like she was. She just prayed that she was making the right decision, but then again making a deal with the devil would always come back to bite her in the ass. She took a deep breath, and got out of the car, slowly walking up the steps to his apartment door.

Sydney blocked all emotions out now. She had to do this; she needed to convince him that she didn't want him. She knocked on the door twice, waiting for him to come to the door. When he didn't answer, she tried the handle; it was unlocked. Slowly she opened the door, walking inside the apartment she saw him, his back was to her and he was painting something. There was paint everywhere, mostly splotches of gold and purple here and there on sheets layered out on the tiles. She could see that there were earphones plugged into his ears, the loud music blocking everything out. She walked forward, trying to avoid any wet paint currently nursing the floor, and tapped him on the shoulder, and he abruptly turned around, pulling out the earphones.

"Sage, what a pleasant surprise, just couldn't stay away could you?" He said smirking at her, wiping the paint on his jeans. She figured it would just be better if she did this like it was a bandaid, rip it off in one swift movement, not drag it on making it more painful, leaving more damage and pain.

"We need to talk." Sydney said seriously, her voice void of any emotion.

"Okay, I'll just put this to the side, meet me in the kitchen." He said, a little bit worried with her unusual tone, but packed away most of his painting equipment before meeting her in the kitchen.

She was leaning against the bench, her coat still on. She was just waiting for him to come in so that she could tell him and then leave, and probably go back to her room and cry in the shower because Jill was there, and she was bound to hate her in the next 10 minutes. She cursed herself. This was going to hurt not only herself and Adrian but also fragile Jill who didn't do anything wrong. Sydney's head swayed for a moment, and she put her face in her hands, trying to compose herself. _I have no choice, I have to do this. It's for him. It's always been for him. _She reminded herself, exhaling a breath she had been keeping in.

"What's up Sage?" Adrian asked, smiling at her before grabbing a glass of water for the both of them.

"Adrian we can't be friends anymore." Sydney stated, biting the inside of her cheek to keep her emotions in check. He just stood there; staring at her like this was some kind of joke, where the punch line would save him.

"Is this the part where you say we can't be friends because you want to be more than that and confess your undying love for me?" he said with a shaky laugh, gripping the glass for support.

"That's the thing Adrian; I don't want to be friends." She said gulping and then continuing. "You're a vampire; I could never be friends with one of your kind. I could never have feelings for you and I certainly don't love you." She got it out finally, and she could feel her heart breaking in her chest, smashing into a thousand pieces and she couldn't even begin to fathom how he was feeling.

Adrian just stood still, frozen and staring at her, waiting for a big sign to pop up saying "You've been PUNK'D" or "This is a joke, laugh now." but her bizarre silence spoke more than any words could.

"You're not really serious are you Sage?" He asked his voice going dangerously low. He put down the glasses, balling his hand in a fist, squeezing so hard his nails were drawing blood from his palm.

He turned around and concentrated on his spirit, trying to look at her aura. It was hardly the usual yellow, there was much more purple and even red specks flying around everywhere like she was waging a war within. She couldn't be serious… could she?

"You're lying. Sydney please tell me your lying." He begged his voice cracking half-way through as he walked up to her.

"I'm not. I don't love you. You shouldn't be following a false hope, you should move on with your life Adrian." She voiced, shifting her gaze away from his face. She could see the tears brimming on his eyes, and she knew if she looked at his gorgeous face once more it'd all be over, and she wouldn't be able to follow through, she wouldn't be able to protect him.

"If you didn't care, why are you telling me, why not just let me love you and suffer with my unrequited feelings." He spat out, now frustrated at her confusing actions and words.

"Out of respect, I wanted to tell you." She said her voice faltering slightly.

"Don't give me that bullshit Sydney, even you're not this cruel." Adrian looked down at her face, not getting one emotion out of her, she was wearing her little alchemist mask, closed off to the world.

"You don't know me." She said stuffing her hands in her coat pocket, feeling Nathan's business card, gripping onto it, remembering why she had to break his heart.

"Stop pushing me out just because you are scared of your feelings, what's wrong? Talk to me sage." Adrian practically yelled at her, and it took everything in her not to cry.

"It's as clear as day, you just don't want to see it. I can't be friends with you anymore, my job is to protect Jill, that's all. I'm not friends with any of you and I certainly don't love you Adrian Ivashkov so just leave me alone." Sydney screamed slightly at the end before running out of his apartment, blocking out his screams of her name. She jumped into Latte and sped away, now allowing the river of tears to fall from her eyes; she drove back to her dorm room. She ran through the front doors, making sure ms weathers didn't hear or see her and went into her room. She didn't even think about the fact that Jill could be there, she saw Jill sitting there crying on the bed, and before Jill could say or scream at her she ran into the bathroom, locking the door and turning the shower on.

The loud noise allowed her to cry her heart out without Jill hearing. Sydney rubbed at her eyes, the tears starting to sting at this stage. Dragging her body up she went and turned the shower off, and changed into some more comfortable clothes to sulk in. Slowly she turned the handle, hoping that Jill wouldn't attack her. Sydney knew what she did was wrong, how could she be so cruel to him, even if she was trying to protect him. There was nothing she could do about it then or now. Opening the door, she saw that Jill wasn't in the room. She couldn't imagine what she was feeling now not just through the bond but her own feelings; regret, anger, hate, sadness? The list was endless and every time she thought about it the guilt stabbed her in the chest over and over and over again.

She fished out her phone and Nathan's business card, dialling the number present.

"Ah, Ms Sage. Is it done?" he asked through the phone, the pretentious bastard knowing what had happened and she could practically feel him smirk through the phone, knowing that he won.

"It's done, I told him I didn't love him. Now you have to keep your promise, you have to take care of him." she said through the phone, hoping that the pain wasn't evident through her hoarse voice from crying.

"Thank you Ms Sage." Nathan said before hanging up. Sydney looked at the phone in her hand, anger now flooding her vision she threw the phone at the wall across from her the mobile breaking into pieces, allowing her to fall down to her knees and break down once again. She leaned against her bed, holding her head in her hands. "I'm so sorry Adrian." She whispered over and over, wrapping her arms around herself, and trying to calm down.

What Sydney didn't realise was that Jill was sitting in the corner of the dark room and witnessed everything. Jill didn't know what just happened. One minute she was sitting in her room, finishing off her three paged essay on how to play volleyball in order for her not to actually physically participate in the game next Friday and then a rush of emotions had overcome her. She was tired and couldn't push out the feelings, especially when they were so strong. At first it was just a high of happiness, she could see that Adrian was happy to see Sydney… then suddenly it went from him being worried, to sad, to angry, to regretful and now it was just depressing. She couldn't help but break down crying not only because of what he felt but because of what she saw. How could Sydney, the Sydney they all knew so well, be so cruel? If anything when she saw Sydney say "we need to talk" she figured that she was going to finally admit her feelings for him, not destroy him emotionally.

Jill stayed in the corner, wiping at her eyes. Adrian had started drinking as soon as she left and it must have been a lot because the alcohol was starting to numb the bond already. She started to replay what had just taken place. Through the bond Sydney looked emotionless, like a robot, expressing her dislike for vampires and saying that she didn't love Adrian. Then she comes here, crying in the bathroom for what seemed to be forever and then calls someone to tell them that she told Adrian she didn't love him, and for them to take care of him. She then proceeded to throw her phone at the wall and break down into tears. What the hell was going on. Jill stood up and walked over to Sydney, even though she still felt betrayed not only what she said about not loving Adrian, but not being their friends because they were vampires, that was ridiculous. Walking over to the other side she noticed Sydney was asleep. Tears still seeping through Jill's eyes, she couldn't help but feel sorry for Sydney, it was clear someone was manipulating her. Jill picked up a blanket and draped it over Sydney, who was resting against the bed. That's when she noticed a card on the floor that was scrunched up. Bending down to pick it up Jill opened it. "Nathan Ivashkov; 0499358927" was written on the card. Jill clenched her jaw and shook her head. Of course it was Nathan. She knew he treated Adrian like crap most of the time but to seriously make Sydney to this to his own son that was disgusting.

Jill sat down next to Sydney's sleeping form and rubbed her head, what was she meant to do. She had one friend practically pass out from crying her heart out and another who was like her brother, completely heart broken. Jill decided that she would go and speak to Adrian and try to calm him down and get the alcohol out of his system before she divulged into the mystery that was Nathan Ivashkov getting Sydney to do this.

-The last thing Sydney remembered was falling asleep, on the floor in her room. When she woke up she could feel the previous nights tears stained on her cheeks, stuck to her pale skin. She was in her bed, the safe underneath the covers. It was Saturday today, meaning that she didn't have to get up and was safe to sulk underneath the warmth of her blankets. Like every Saturday Eddie, Jill and Angeline would do their own thing and I would usually be out practising magic with Adrian and then heading into Pies and Stuff. Just Adrian's name itself hurt, she buried her head in the pillow unable to get him out of her head. Her screwed up relationships and life problems truly bewildered her. She never thought this would ever happen to her, that one day she would fall in love with a vampire and his father would threaten to basically ruin his and her life if she didn't do what he said. Guess that's the universe disapproving of her life choices.

Just lying down in bed, she realised that she should probably get up soon. Just as she was about to get up she heard footsteps and whispers come from the front of the door. Afraid of whom it was and what she might have to face, Sydney jumped out of bed quickly grabbing some clothes and undergarments and jumping in the bathroom. She turned the shower on, and put her ear against the door, and heard that it was Jill and another person, sounded like a guy. Maybe it was Eddie or Micah? She hoped it wasn't Adrian and it probably wouldn't be I mean, what would he want to do with her after what she did yesterday. She sighed before stripping off before jumping into the cool shower. She scrubbed her hair with strawberry shampoo and then cleansed her face, hoping to get rid of any evidence of a previous cry session. She got changed into a pair of khaki pants and a plain three quarter white shirt. She figured she better start reading up on the magic books that Mrs. Terwilliger had asked her to translate. She applied a little bit of foundation on her face, covering up the red marks on her face and the bags under her eyes. Once she was happy with the results, she slowly walked out of the bathroom and shut the door, but she wasn't expecting to see Jill and Adrian of all people sitting on the bed in front of the door and staring at her. Adrian kept quiet, avoiding her gaze as Jill started to talk.

"Sydney, what happened last night?" Jill asked, not knowing where to start, but she knew that there was something more going on here and they all just needed to know the full story.

"Jill I'm sure you already know what happened." Sydney breathed out crossing her arms, and leaning against the wall. When neither Jill nor Adrian replied to her comment, she rolled her eyes for effect, trying to keep the act up before standing up straight.

"I told Adrian that I didn't want to be friends anymore, it may as well go for you too Jill." Sydney said, not daring to look either one of them in the eyes.

"Sydney cut the crap; I was in the room last night when you called Nathan. I saw everything, I even have the card." Jill exclaimed throwing the business card on the floor in front of Sydney, causing both Adrian and Sydney to look at her with wide eyes. _Shit, shit, shit. _Sydney cursed in her head. She leaned against the wall closing her eyes, slipping down til she sat on the floor, her head in her hands.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled, just loud enough for their vampire hearing. She forced the tears to stay in, and she looked up at the two expectantly.

"Sage, what's going on?" Adrian asked tirelessly, his eyes too were red and he looked like he hadn't slept in days.

"Your dad came to see me yesterday. H-He said that if I didn't tell you that I hated you and that I didn't love you, he would send me to re-education… and I didn't care because I'd sacrifice my life for you… I'd go there for you." She said her voice cracking before she continued on. "But then he said he would make your life a living hell. He said that he would hurt you. I-I didn't know what to do and he said if I didn't call him saying it was done in the next 24 hours, he would send evidence of our friendship with all of you to the alchemists, they'd kill me." She choked out, wiping at her eyes.

Jill left the room, giving the two some space, they needed to work things out. Sydney sat there on the floor, as Adrian looked at her trying to put the pieces together. He still felt betrayed by what she did, but after what she just said, that she did it to protect him and that she would sacrifice her life in re-education for him, he couldn't help but let the tears fall down as he walked over to her.

"I'm so sorry Adrian, I-I didn't mean anything I said, but I'll understand if you don't want to speak to me… I don't want to speak to me either." She whispered, her hands slightly shaking.

"Sshh, I don't hate you Sage, I could never hate you." He sat down next to her, bringing her into his arms, her head laying on his chest and her arms wrapping around him tight as she cried.

"It's okay, don't cry. I'll deal with my father, don't worry. He won't ever hurt you again." Adrian promised her, kissing her on the forehead. Sydney looked up, staring into his emerald eyes.

"I know I never said it before, but I love you Adrian Ivashkov. I've always loved you." She confessed an adoring look in her eyes and a smile on her lips.

"And I love you Sydney Sage." He said resting his forehead against hers, and they just spent the afternoon in each other's arms, occasionally stealing a few kisses and trying to forget the previous day's events and focus on their future together.


End file.
